Off the map

Bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. Those words - maybe in particular that phrase from "Come, Thou Font Font of Every Blessing" - seems to reconcile with something that moves in me, a mirror, perhaps a reflection of the spiritual, and also the life searcher, the voyager.

Sometime back in California, I happened upon a Monica Denevan exhibition, part of her series in Burma. There was one photograph in particular that spoke to me. It imbued a sense of being on a journey, unencumbered by possessions, and I identified with wanting that kind of theme. I thought, how simple, to live that kind of life - in contrast to the frenetic materialism we have in America. A young man, perhaps with a family, out on the sea, harvesting what he can. A simple life. I kept it as I left the exhibition. It's with me today, to remind me, that I do have the heart of a wanderer. May God guide the journey, and steer the boat.

Scattershot thoughts

I never thought I would write in a blog. I'm too busy, honestly. So, this will likely be a slow progression. Been working 16 hour days lately. Went out for a walk into the almost-midnight air and promptly retrieved the next best feel good element to prayer that there is. Cold root beer. Quite the situational juxtaposition, with the falling snow and the moon. Normally, I'd say coffee, hot chocolate, anything warm - would be appropriate! But somehow a cold root beer felt just right. Cheers me up when I'm down.

Walking in the falling snow, the crisply falling messages from above turning into translucent watery beads of pearls on the door as I get home. Still have some root beer. Thinking of a home, and how, if I had my choice, home would be with God above. It's a new year. I can put the 7 months of tears behind me. Life will re-write itself. Pulling up a old poem I wrote at least 16 years ago.

miracle sun you play peekaboo with me
behind a shimmering blue street
my life caged in bones & misunderstandings
so think of our unspoken fragile agreement
that you will visit tomorrow
 
seeing my past today playing in a film down by the beach
admission was free and easy
questions and answers were not
i have yet but scratched the surface of promises to myself
 
my parents vision
turned to happy pot bellys, scars, and pills
and choices i never cared to understand
now overwhelm me with laughter
as i watch how they stumbled and carried us all
 
so mister miracle sun
gift to look upon me then
carry me to those lessons
far far away from home
but bring me back again

I'm getting ready

Michael Kiwanuka coming to SXSW this spring. Wish I had time, I'd run all the way to Austin! Listening to some of his music in the fall of last year, reminded me a bit of growing up in the islands of Hawaii. Gypsy roads.